It’s been almost 3 months now that I seemingly lived like a zombie. No, I don’t look like it but I..let’s say..my body’s working fine but my heart’s dead. Fortunately, I’m way better than a walking zombie because I’m not will-less, mute, and not driven by a supernatural force for some evil purpose. How can I live normally after a 3-year special love story ended? My heart’s broken but not to the extent of wounding myself with a knife or jumping off a bridge or building. I’m not too dumb to do such pathetic and unhelpful acts. Yes, I disappeared and even placed myself into solitude. Things like: no Facebook for days, deactivated our (couple account) Twitter account, stopped writing and blogging, even attempted to blot THIS blog out, and most of all, shut our common friends out..yep, I did all dramas! What were left in me were my pride, family, and faith. I’ve always been a believer. I should say that was my second time of being heartbroken. First was the sudden lost of my dad to a shipwreck in 2008. Man that was horrible! However, I think I finally understand why it happened. It must be God’s way to prepare me for this heartbreak. I used to be a total dependent. All my life, I never knew how to live on my own until my dad was taken away from us. Since then, I started living with this “nothing is forever in this crazy world” in mind. I’ve learned the hard way not to be attached to anyone because I know in the end, I will be left alone. My ex has taught me a lot and I’m thankful for the 3 years of ups and downs. Right now, I’m still moving on. My heart’s still cold but I guess I’m on my way to the land of “I’ve moved on.” I’m writing again because I’m a zombie no more….maybe? haha!
Zombie no more!