Unsaid

Just a few minutes ago, I was checking my Facebook and saw the past moments/posts I had in the “On This Day” portion. One post I was tagged in was a photo of my literary piece for my college department’s publication that was taken by an old friend of mine. I am not proud for having this piece being published, instead I am overjoyed to realize how brave I was to publicly share the thoughts of my bleeding heart. Thanks to an encouraging friend who somehow pushed me through it.

As far as my memory recalls, I was on my 2nd year of college when that tragedy devastated me and the rest of my family. If you have been following this blog, you may have known this. You can go back to that story here. I was 17 at that time when a national tragedy took the local news by storm. The infamous MV Princess of the Star tragedy. How unfortunate that my father was one of the victims. This is the kind of misfortune that a teenager like me then would curse at.

“The world is unfair.”

I remember I cried that out loud in my troubled mind. I even questioned God. It happened back in 2008 and the sorrow I battled against is still vivid. Now that I’m 26, I’d say I was a young intrepid soldier. Overcoming such unimaginable mourning over the years has molded me into the woman I am now.

Perhaps this is the reason why I am not good at keeping friends because I know that in this world, nothing lasts forever. At a blink of an eye, something/ someone may change, appear, begin, and vanish. I’ve trained myself not to cling to anything or anyone because I know how it’ll end. That grief has made my heart this way. Not a cold heart, but one that doesn’t hold.

And because of that despair, I’ve realized how important it is to express your thoughts to people, especially to the ones you dearly love.

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You saw me naked

the moment I was born.

You heard my first cry

when I felt the wind.

You had my first glance

as you held me up.

You were with me then

as days turned to years.

You’ve given me life

that’s worth livin’ for.

You shared me your light

when darkness time came.

I love you so dear

more than words can say.

I miss you so much

more than words can tell.

I can’t help myself

but cry hard enough.

I’m filled with regrets

for now that you’re gone.

I’m stuck here nowhere

where dreams were shattered.

I’m broken inside

with the words left unsaid.

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8 thoughts

  1. Dear friend,

    We came alone to this world and we have also leave alone when ouir time is running out. Noone can accompany us for the last journey we have make, but there is always one frined, which never leaves us: we can call him true friend, heavenly Father or even true brother – He, who is always with us, God. We attach to this and that and devide our hearts into pieces in it – but attachment is ever-lasting and is bidirectional: when we attach us to God – in this moment we have love for all as He is the creator, the doer – the time will come when the drop is again united with the ocean, and when all drops of water find themselves again united in ONE Ocean…

    Thanks for sharing, dear friend
    Didi

    Like

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